WHAT IS IT?

“Got Character” is a school-wide effort to promote a strong understanding of and support for the Tavelli motto:

·          Do your best!

·          Do what's right!

·          Treat others as you want to be treated

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Dr. Lawler, Mrs. Bachman, and Mr. Meredith have visited every classroom at Tavelli to instruct students on ways to deal with different levels of conflict / bullying.  As parents, being informed of the process we have shared with your children will allow you to reinforce it at home as well as help guide your child on how to deal with situations at school, using a common language.  Below is a summary (language appropriate to the age of the students was used in the different classrooms) of what the students have been taught.

Tavelli Got Character! Motto:  Do Your Best, Do What’s Right, Treat Others as You Want to be Treated

§          When people follow our motto, everyone feels safe and respected.  When we feel safe, we can concentrate on learning.

Sometimes, people don’t make good choices.  When that happens, there are things we can do depending on the situation.

For the “Serious Stuff”, get adult help immediately

§          “Serious Stuff” includes being physically hurt, being threatened, being sexually harassed, being discriminated against/harassed, and/or knowing of a weapon.

For the “Small Stuff”, try to ignore these actions at first

§          “Small Stuff” includes annoying things such as making faces at someone, remarking about clothing, making a “dumb” remark, etc.  Students were instructed not to get “hooked” into a conflict by ignoring these types of actions.

For repeated annoyances (including the “Small Stuff”) or other situations, use the “3 Step Procedure.”

1.        Use an “I” message:  “I feel (emotion) when you (behavior).  Please stop.”  E.g. “I feel upset when you call me names.  Please stop.”  Or, “It makes me angry when you grab my pencil.  Please stop.”  Students need to say this using a firm but soft voice while looking the bully in the eye.

2.       If the person does the behavior again, inform them that, if they don’t stop, you’ll get adult help.  The term “adult help” is used instead of “go tell the teacher” because the latter implies, “I’m going to get you in trouble,” while the bully may end up in trouble, often we can teach students how to solve the conflict together.  E.g. “I asked you to stop calling me names.  If you don’t stop, I’ll get adult help.”

3.       If it happens again, get adult help.  Tell the adult (any staff member) how you have tried to solve the problem and need some help.  E.g. “Mr. Meredith, I have tried to use the steps to solve a problem, but it isn’t working.  Would you please help us?”

Group Power

§          Most of us at Tavelli are kind and respectful.  We can pressure bullies to change their behavior.  E.g. instead of quietly watching someone call another names, a group might approach the bully and say, “Hey, ____, it’s not okay to call people names.  We don’t do that at Tavelli.”

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